How to be a sharp dressed man

I thought it was about time to advise to the men of the world on how to look more like a presentable, handsome man, basically more like Bagface. In this short article I’m going to make your zero a hero! You too will be irresistible to women (and probably men too although they just don’t want to admit it).

STEP 1

Have a buff bod; see images of Bagface to get an idea or even better come to his TV show so you can see his prowess in action. Now if you don’t have a buff body already there are some products available to tone you up instantly (see below)! This works especially well with more myopic women.

STEP 2 

Wardrobe; what’s the point of having a super hot bod if you’re not showing it off?! Please remember older stretched out clothes work best to really define the male physique and be patient; realize your are creating a work of art (hint: the odd butter stain does adds a touch of mystery). See images below for proper apparel.

STEP 3 

Diet; you can’t expect to be uber hot without good grub in the tank! See images to see the foods you are allowed to enjoy as you morph into an adonis. (I’m so excited for your journey and transformation! You will be saying MMMMMMmmMMMMM with elation and glee in no time!).

Step 4

Accessorize, Ascessorize, Ascessorize! See below for proper items to enhance your magnetism. You’ll be irresistible!

Remember be patient it takes a long time to be a sex symbol. Follow this guide and you will be! I know you can do this!

BILL PLOW IS A PIECE OF SHIT

https://sexybagface.wordpress.com/2016/07/15/response-to-kripplekrayons-aka-bill-plow-keith-carney/comment-page-1/#comment-1485

FUCKIN BILL PLOW IS A RACIST AND BEAT HIS FAMILY. HE SUCKS EPRIMES POOP OUT OF HIS ASS.

BILL PLOW HAS A WRINKLED NECK LIKE A TURKEY. HES A BROKE FAG NO ONE LIKES HIM. EVERYONE LIKEs BAGFACE.

HOMEMADE TATTOOS MEANS BILL PLOW IS A LOSER AND BROKE.

LOSERS HOUSE COLLAPSED. HE DOESN’T EVEN OWN A HARMONICA.

Glensroom Internet Big Brother Poll

Ok get your hankies out its time to make a very sad announcement. The following have be voted out/evicted.
Its Nick
Sarah62
Mushroon
ATP (Sponheim)
Hipperz
Foxmanshawn
Kult Leader

On a side not I would just like to say I fought like heck to keep Jojo the best person in the house and the prettiest, but the landlord (Glensroom) insisted she had to go. I’m not happy about it but what can i do?


So….the last four are left. Vote for three that you want booted 
and the last one standing will get the grand prize! And of course…….there will be winners!

Here Are the Round 1 Results:

ExplosiveKrayon/Bill Plow/Wheelchair Keith’s Day

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Hello, everyone. This is my list I’ve prepared about a very sad disgusting “man” from Vandergrift, Pennsylvania who lives in a dirty ass cracked trailer. Some of you may know him as Bill Plow, Keith Carney, ExplosiveKrayon, KrippledKrayon (as Lawrville’s fans used to call this piece of shit) or Johnny Cortezio. Take a gander at one of this pathetic piece of trash’s days on earth. YippieKi-Yay you gimpy worthless bastard. Also, let’s get one thing straight you stupid fuck. Glen has nothing to do with me attacking you so i’m not hoping to be put on a pedestal. I’m attacking you because I was attacked by you first so stop trying to throw the phrase bully around when you attack people and they retaliate.You just make yourself look like a fucking idiot. Just wanted to get that straight to your meth filled brain. Now, before we get started i’d like to share a pic of this welfare fuck.

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Look at this LOSER playing horrible music on his guitar. I wonder how many people you made deaf that day playing it and how much money you begged for. Get your dirty lazy ass up and clean your room. It looks filthy, ya fucking slob. Also, you really do not look well in this picture, you look like a crazy man who talks to himself daily and has no one. Just like you do under guest in Bag’s room while trying so hard to troll (which you are absolutely terrible at by the way) and pretend like others are doing it. Seek psychiatric help, “brotherrrrrrr”.

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I need a noose? Ok, Keith, i’ll get hanged once you get a life and stop being a terrible waste of jizz. This pic also proves you’re a total hypocrite once again. I was making a joke about Bag’s smelly ass fuck buddy in Mexico and you decide to butt in and add your worthless two cents. You say never disrespect women online but then you turn around and insult Hippychk under like 12 guest tabs and we all know it’s you because you say the same exact garbage. I have never met such a 40+ year old loser like you, Keith. You’re seriously one of the worse people I can think of. God, it must be so cool living in a trailer park, being a deadbeat dad piece of shit and being a terrible drummer in a band. You’re a total rockstar! Excuse me, I mean trash! Someone throw this garbage away. He’ll be easy to pick up seeing as how he can barely move. Fuckin cunt.

Now, let’s get on to his shitty day with this list:

  1. Keith wakes up, tries to hop off of his cigarette burned dirty bed bug ridden mattress that he found on the side of the road but realizes his wheelchair isn’t around
  2. He tries to crawl to it but he falls on the floor
  3. He finally gets up and crawls his way up to his wheelchair
  4. Goes into the bathroom and tries to look into the mirror but realizes it’s set too high for him because he’s on his wheelchair
  5. Rolls into his kitchen to make some cereal
  6. Realizes there’s no cereal and milk due to him wasting his welfare check on meth the first day he got it
  7. Picks skin due to meth usage
  8. He books a gig with his special band full of retards who all play terrible music and their band name is “Welfare Junkies”
  9. Keith rolls to his drum set in his small trailer living room but forgets that it’s there and he runs into it with his wheelchair and knocks it over
  10. He rolls into the bathroom again to try to look in the mirror and realize what a filthy piece of shit he is
  11. He tries to headbutt the mirror but hits his head on the sink due being in his wheelchair and realizing his life is miserable
  12. He looks at pics of his slut Walmart wife and begins to cry because she doesn’t like him, his kids don’t like him and his mom and sister don’t like him
  13. After crying, he daydreams about himself winning in the special Olympics because he’s in a wheelchair
  14. He wakes up and goes to his gig at a KKK meeting but gets thrown out due the horrible music being played and then gets rolled down the hill by the KKK members
  15. He reaches in his pocket and grabs his 2005 prepaid phone and looks through his contacts but realizes he has nobody to call
  16. He calls 911 but swallows the lasts of his meth due to a fear of being arrested and ass fucked in jail (but then again he’d probably like it)
  17. He goes home and logs onto Vaughnlive as a guest like a pussy boy from 12 pm to 8 am and tries to insult people with really boring & terrible jokes. He also tries to tell people they’re on all day when in all actuality he is the one on all day stalking people.
  18. In the midst of it all, he checks iVlog for Glen’s show and sees him on but goes on a meth filled rage and writes an essay on his shitty blog repeating the same thing over and over in each one. He also takes about 80 screenshots of certain chatters and what they type
  19. Rages when Glen and his viewers say “Bill Plow you piece of shit.” and cuts himself multiple times before rolling into a beaten down old dresser and causing injury to his legs but he doesn’t feel it
  20. Writes another stupid blog full of stupid shit that he thinks he knows about but he really knows nothing 
  21. Wheels himself close to his mattress to get out of his wheelchair but accidentally parks on top of it
  22. Reverses his wheelchair with beeping and lights on the back like a truck
  23. Takes a few hits of meth and stays awake for days due to high and stares at wall for the next 7 days

I hope you all enjoyed this! There is more to come. The saga of this waste of sperm is not over. Also, Keith, i’m waiting for you to come and kick my ass like you’ve threatened to in the past, Mr. “Internet Tough Guy” which is what you have the nerve to call someone but you’re the one threatening to kill people on the internet and beat them up. But you won’t do it, and that makes you a filthy hypocrite pussy for even thinking about using the phrase and doing what pertains to it, Welfare Keith. One more thing that you should get straight is that I don’t care about your racist comments. Unlike some people, I don’t get offended by shit like that on the internet. If I did, why would I be in Bag’s show? So if you want to be racist to me, at least be funny and don’t use the same stale jokes everytime, Mr. Carney or should I say “Bill Plow the piece of shit?” Anyway, that’s it for now… this chicken watermelon eating nigger is signing off! Bye bye now! P.S. I’m not half white you retard lol there’s yet another stupid accusation you’ve gotten wrong about me. You should slap yourself so hard that the force of your slap pushes you back so far back into the arms of that toothless slut Rheannon. Toodles, fuckboy!

P.P.S Fuck you, Keith Carney.

Vaughnlive Profile: Hippychk

In part one of an ongoing series; I’ll profile some of the chatters and casters of Vaughnlive. Remember, these stories are 100% true.

First, we explore the life of enigmatic internet terrorist HippyChk.

HippyChk, whose real name is Lucille Chavez, was born in the industrial city of Saltillo, Mexico. While most kids learned practical skills, such as basket weaving and cocaine smuggling, HippyChk would sit in her room for hours reading Sweet Valley High novels. Because she had very few friends, the adventures of Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield intrigued her. These stories would eventually consume her life and manifest itself into a mental illness. To this day, she still carried the burden of being unable to decipher reality from fiction. And she still believes Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield are actual people.

In school, she was bullied mercilessly. Because of her Hispanic/Yugoslavian heritage, as well as an overactive thyroid issue, she developed a weight problem. The kids called her “Le Nigress” (A direct reference to the wildly popular American sitcom “Gimmie a break”, starring no nonsense African American housekeeper Neil Harper). This abuse carried on day in and day out until finally Lucille broke. She could not remain in this place. Without her parent’s permission, she packed up all her pesos, stole a donkey and made her way North. Her destination? Sweet Valley High.

After riding for days in the sweltering Mexican heat, she reached the Texas border. As she dismounted her donkey, she noticed two things. One, her legs were permanently bowed from straddling the massive, muscular burro’s back. And two, the guys at the border wearing badges and brandishing AK-47s.

It’s too late to turn back. She sprinted toward the border, slid under the candy stripped barrier – leaving a rooster tail of Mexican sand craning into the air and dug her heels in the freedom rich soil of America.  She made it. But, only half her journey was complete.

With no money, no family and no pot to piss in, she realized she needed a job. Because of her argumentative, overbearing, smart alecky nature, only one profession would suit her personality. She decided to become a lawyer.

She found a fellow Mexican selling lobsters out the back of his El Camino. With nothing to offer but her body, they made an “arrangement”. Details of this arrangement are murky so I won’t speculate. After all, this is a serious biography and I will NOT let my reputation be sullied by posting hearsay. But, she made it to Harvard, from Texas.

Lucille was a stellar student. And, despite her weight problem, was very popular amongst the students and staff. One particular staff member was enamored by her charm, wit and intelligence. This staff member was her student advisor – Barack Obama.

One day, while helping him file papers, their student/teacher relationship took a turn.  Barack eyes briefly caught a glimpse of her heaving bosom. Her butter pecan complexion shone bright under his office lights. Her wide hips made his Kenyan blood boil with lust. He wanted to butter her bread.

But Barack was a man of integrity. So rather than let his animalistic desires ravage her thick, immigrant body – he quit his job. Yes, HippyChk is responsible for Barack Obama leaving Harvard to become a politician. And yes, this story is true.

To confirm this story I was going to post her transcripts from Harvard. Unfortunately, there is no record of her attending. During enrollment, when each student is required to register, HippyChk refused to sign in.

Now, with degree in hand and millions of dollars in her bank account, she continued her pilgrimage to Sweet Valley High.  As she boarded a plane to California, she met someone who would be a role model. An inspiration. Someone she would emulate for the rest of her life. One would say this person is her hero.

They talked for hours on the flight. Cracked jokes, shared laughs, and cuddled a bit. HippyChk expressed her fears of moving to California and her role model would comfort her.

“I bet California is a shithole” said HippyChk.

“Don’t worry, darling. No matter what, you’ll always have me” said her Role Model.

The plane lands and from her window seat she sees – California, a picturesque portrait of rolling hills, lush moss covered mountains and soft orange pastel streaked sunsets. This place can be described as anything but a shithole.

“This place is a shithole” says HippyChk.

“Don’t worry. You’ll be fine. I believe in you” said her role model.

They kiss on the lips and embrace.

“How will I ever find you again” asked HippyChk.

“I have a show. Come by sometime. Just go to Vaughnlive.tv and look up CookieLipshitz.”

“Thank you. I’ll never forget you. You complete me”.

And with one more kiss, the parted ways. And CookieLipshitz was right. HippyChk was ok. And HippyChk would like to publicly thank her for her guidance and immeasurable love.

HippyChk. Rebel. Lawyer. Weight Watchers patron. She lives by her own rules. Somewhere she’s walking across a California beach, joint in one hand, guitar slung low across her back, still searching for her own little Sweet Valley High.

Response to KrippleKrayons aka Bill Plow & Keith Carney

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Keith Carney, GoldenWheels, KrippleKrayons, ExplosiveCumCatcher, Bill Plow or Bill Wall. What ever your name is, it’s time for you to realize you’re a waste of cum. Your mom should’ve aborted your ugly ass because i’m sure she regrets having a worthless waste of skin as a son like you. Is that why she doesn’t talk to you? Perhaps she would be happy one day if she got a call that you over dosed on meth and your carcass is rotting away in your trailer.I know myself and a few others would. You really honestly have no worth to live if you ask me. You really should not ever try to talk about someone’s appearance because you’re really not good looking yourself. You’re the mentally retarded one, maybe that’s the real reason why you’re in a wheelchair?

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You’re a crazy piece of shit who has no worth in life and nobody would care if they got word you kicked the bucket. Oh wait let’s rephrase that kick the bucket statement, let’s say “rolled over” because everyone knows you can’t walk because you’re a wheelchair ridden piece of shit. You can say everything you want about me including making up lies about me being a gang member because I threw up a peace sign in one of my pics or your dumbass googling a bunch of people that have nothing to do with me. I remember you saying something about me having multiple personalities or something retarded. But let’s not forget “Bill Plow” Bill Wall” “ExplosiveKrayon” and “Johnny Cortezio” where you said you wanted to kill people and chop them up into a bunch of pieces. But you’re not crazy, right? Wow, you are truly a sad sack of shit. You can put my face on a bunch of racist memes or pics but realize that it doesn’t hurt my feelings. I seriously would not lose sleep sleep over some trailer trash wheelchair bound loser saying things about me over a blog that is probably Keith’s only friend in life. Well, that and your methpipe you freak. What I ask myself is what kind of loser like you would sit at home all day and stalk chats of people they supposedly don’t like? Then you sit there and record it all. Don’t you have anything better to do with your life? Besides roll around in your meth trailer home and type up your bullshit blog with a bunch of lies? You’re really a nobody, Keith and the funny thing is nobody likes you. Do you think that blog post about that Facebook you searched and then took a pic of how many friends are on it have any relevance to how nobody likes you? Nobody gives a fuck about that we all know you have no self worth.

Tell me this here, Keith? In one of your crappy blogs, you refer to me as being “uneducated ghetto scum” and then you tell me to get a life, get a job and stop doing drugs? When in all reality, you should be speaking to yourself. Let’s not forget who is the welfare methhead here who sits on his ass all day, rolls himself down the street to go meet up with his meth dealer and writes stupid shit about people on blogs all day. What job have you ever had besides having the dream of becoming a rockstar? Didn’t that fail? Tell me how that worked out for you, Keith? How is your cracked roof of your trailer working out for you? Exactly…. you have no room to fucking talk about anyone. You are a poor sack of shit who begs for money on the internet, you truly are no better than those e-beggars on Vaughnlive. How could you even afford a PC or a laptop on your welfare budget? Oh, I see you’re scheming the government for it’s money, huh? How many times have you sucked a dick for a hit of meth and taken a dick in the ass for it? I’d say numerous times. You’re probably only mad at Glen because he can’t mail your broke ass any money to buy meth anymore.

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I envision this is how you will look in a few years if you keep going down this road. I mean, you practically already look like this guy. Anyone see the similarities? The fact you think you have the room to talk about people on the internet that you barely know completely baffles me. Let’s talk about how much of a pathetic loser you are, shall we?

Well, for starers Keith Carney aka ExplosiveKrayon is not only a crippled welfare cheating loser but he is also a deadbeat dad with a whore wife. What kind of idiot has two kids by some Walmart slut? What makes matters worse is that you abandoned those two kids. You are a poor excuse of a man. Instead of blogging stupid shit, don’t you think you should be taking care of those kids? I know, I know, Keith it must
be lonely sitting by yourself in your wheelchair with nobody beside you and you wake up everyday realizing you’ll be alone forever. Maybe you should take a look in the mirror and realize what a crock of shit you are and realize that is why nobody wants to be around you. It must be sad when all of your internet friends don’t want anything to do with your sorry ass let alone your family. No wonder why you sit on your pathetic ass behind all day and blog because it’s the only accomplishment you have in life.  You’re truly a pathetic cancerous excuse of a man, what kind of guy can call himself a man when he won’t take care of his kids or refuses to see them? Your slut mother should’ve really swallowed you instead of letting your dad nut in her dirty disease ridden cunt.

Anyway, if you want the scoop on how disgusting this guy is and why he shouldn’t even be walking on this earth breating our air. Link is below.

Source: https://thedirty.com/gossip/pittsburgh/dead-beat-dad-15/

If you look in the comment section (which I totally recommend for some good laughs) you can clearly see that this dickwad tried commenting on it to try to make himself look good. You know it’s him when he says shit like “dofus fuck” in the comment section. Were you trying to be Glen, Keith? Is it because he was the only friend you had in life? Awww how sad 😦 shout out to everybody on that link who knows how terrible you are. By the way, you might want to go check up on your whore wife and make sure she’s not sucking infected dicks in the back of Walmart. Better yet, you should go join her you look like someone who sucks dicks on the downlow.

Here is proof that this excuse of a “man” isn’t well liked by anyone:

You got that right, commenter. I’d love to see this pussy do all the things he said he would.

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Lol…. Keith gets shit on so much.

 

Last but not least…

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Now time to address your little retarded blog entry about me. Where you put a lot of racist things on there that you think would actually hurt my feelings. Calling me a monkey and saying my mom and dad take care of me still. But you don’t know know me well enough to make that assumption. At least I can still talk to my mom and she loves me and yours hates you because you’re a worthless piece of trash. But let’s be honest, you can shit on how I look all day by saying i’m short (which i’m not by the way) or saying I look like I have downs by using a shitty blurry pic you took from a small ass pro cam box. You say I claimed I was in a gang? Then you call me a nigger followed by more racist remarks and other bigotry bullshit that doesn’t hurt me in any way so you’re totally wasting your time with that. I may have a big nose and big lips after all I am a negro lol. I never involved myself in your business as you say, I never really started talking shit about your no good ass until you blogged about me. Then you try to play the victim card? Get the fuck out of here with your bullshit, Keith. A victim doesn’t attack people out of the blue and then get treated like they didn’t do anything. Since you keep bringing up stupid shit like “cocaine” that is an inside joke between me and a few others from BlogTV. Someone like you would never know the meaning of an inside joke because you have no friends to share jokes with. You can keep continuing to throw the phrase “internet tough guy” around and realize that it’s YOU who is the wannabe tough guy. Where have I ever said I wanted to beat someone’s ass online and wanted to chop them up into little pieces? All of this is coming from some weirdo who made up 80 accounts trying to be someone else on Vaughn and someone who made up like 3 Facebook pages trying to look tough. Who was it again? That’s right that was Keith Carney aka ExplosiveKrayon the crippled deadbeat bastard from Pennsylvania. Now go ahead and spend your time writing a response to this filled with a bunch of lies and other bullshit you spew. Everything I stated in this blog is the truth and you know it is. Unlike your bullshit blog. Now, go smoke some meth and overdose you fucking parasite and go find someone who likes you. Bye bye, Mr. Carney.

ThatC00nAce out!

Birthday Gift for Bagface

Ok, so I’ve decided to get Bagface a gift for his 62nd birthday, which is coming up next month:  I’m going to get him his very own Tripcode!

I’ll be taking applications in the comments below, and at hippychk2@gmail.com.

The successful candidate must be able to be online and in Bagface’s chat at all times that Bagface casts.  Chatroom duties consist of typing “lmao,” “LMAO,” and variations thereon.  
The successful candidate must also be willing to record and edit videos at Bagface’s command, and reassure Bagface that he is funny and correct at all times.
This is not a paid position.  The position will, however, provide the successful candidate with emotional and/or psychological gratification, most likely related to mommy/daddy issues, social isolation, and general douchebaggery.

If you think you or someone you know would be right for this position, please let me know.  Feel free to apply on behalf of others.